Confess

I did not expect much
But, when I came to realize
I did miss him all the time
Did not want to lie
I faced it
And, let it past by
Heartbeating means nothing
But, hearthuting means anything
Which explained how I feel for him
I thought I could pretend
The more I tried being not care
The more I lose control
Coz, it was not me
Just want to get more closer
But, I control myself
There were tears unknown
What could I do with you
WAKE UUUP ~ SONIAAA!!!


I had a half-month vacation for skydiving in France. I did not expect anything to happen to me, but I have learnt a lot in my life. I adventured my life so that I experienced differences form the others. Yet, the time is not right for me and I kind of deciding to let it go. If it belongs to me, let’s see how it will go in the future. I do not want to be stopped by anyone or anything. I belong to myself only though I feel lonely sometimes. I am here to fulfill my dream and try to build the life I want to live. When love comes, I feel dizzy. And, I know that it was not me. Somehow, it definitely made me feel good ~ ~ ~
The time is not right. It is not time yet. I have to control myself. Before leaving for England, I have made a promise to myself, saying that I will not be in any relationship. All I want is to take the advantage of my degree to teach English abroad and stay away from my family. The main reason is I do not want to be any shadow of others. I know it is challenging and I got hurts sometimes. I guess it must be the God to give me a test to see if I can keep my promise for myself or not. I am an atheist, but I believe in myself. The way he / it is makes things attractive, but those are not what I want. I am not sure what I will be. However, I am pretty sure what I must do now. It is just not time yet. There are several love passengers in my life to rich my life and bring me surprises. Love comes and goes. Who knows whose next one would be!
I experienced, then I learned. The time IS NOT RIGHT yet. I want to be in love without my own worries. For freedom, I sacrifice my love. Kiss good bye ~ though I know it hurts, but time will heal it and bring another one to me. It is just one of the tasks in the life which most people might experience. I am glad that I had the two exotic boys whom I was really really serious with. Luckily, we are friends now and it is the love for eternity and simplicity…